Thank you!!!!!!!!!

I just wanted to take a second and thank everyone for the love and support you have given my family over this last while. We are really so very grateful. We love you all and appreciate all you have done (and continue to do). Thank you all so much for being there and caring. Our Kourtney is terribly missed but also very loved - loved by more than just her mom and dad, thank you for sharing your love with her and with us.

For Kourtney

Kourtney Raine HowellWashington Terrace – Our sweet angel Kourtney was born August 17, 2008 in Ogden, Utah to parents Daniel Scott Fulton Howell and Kazia Lorraine Montague Howell. On April 18, 2009 she quietly passed away at home, cradled in the loving arms of her mother, returning to the loving embrace of her Heavenly Father.Kourtney leaves behind her loving parents and family; big sister Kadrey Ana Howell, age 6; big brother Jaxon Scott Howell, age 4; also adoring great-grandparents, grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins.Kourtney’s brief stay with us was filled with difficult physical challenges which she endured gracefully with steadfast determination. She greatly blessed our lives with a wonderfully sweet and powerful spirit that was felt by all. We feel privileged to have had her with us these eight months. We miss her and mourn her passing, yet look forward with faith and hope to that day when we will be reunited together forever as a family.We express our thanks and gratitude to all of the people who gave Kourtney such tender care and attention, and to those who support and sustain us with their love, faith and prayers.Graveside services will be held at 3:00 p.m. on Thursday, April 23, 2009 at Myers Evergreen Memorial Park, 100 Monroe Blvd. Friends may call prior to the service at Myers Mortuary, 845 Washington Blvd, Ogden from 1:30 to 2:30 p.m.

Our Angel Baby

Our sweet little baby left our home on Saturday to "return home" with her heavenly father. We are very saddened by this and even though we wish that she could have stayed with us a bit longer, we are happy that we got to have her here for a little while. Her life was filled with physical struggles and pain but also a lot of love and I know that the reason she was able to "hang-on"as long as she did was because she felt how much love was around her. She is our little angel baby and even though she is not with us now we know that in our hearts she always will be here. I am happy that she no longer hurts. I just wish I could be with her while she is playing, laughing, dancing, and smiling, but I am glad she gets to do those things, and I know that she will be taken care of by special angels until I am able to be with her again.

We miss her so very much and wish that her stay could have been longer. We are very proud that she picked our family to join and I just hope she knows that she is a very special very loved little girl.

Home yay!

Kourtney was able to come home on Sat (yay). She almost needed to stay, her heart rate and secretions started to act up before we were able to leave on Sat. but the Doc, Dan, and I talked about it and decided that problems like this were going to be "normal" for her and so we decided that it was something we were going to try and handle at home.

Everything is a bit crazy but we were able to have a good Easter and a fun visit from the Easter bunny. We actually did not color hard boiled eggs until Sunday afternoon - but that's ok because the E. bunny doesn't hide those eggs ( hard boiled eggs sitting out all night YUCK ) so we dyed them and then made deviled eggs YUMMY. I didn't get any picture of the baskets but they were cute and the kids were really excited. It was a fun day.

Having Kourt home is really nice and having our family together is great. There are some days that are difficult and after having her in the hospital for so long (where they take care of her and make sure that she gets everything she needs) it is almost like relearning everything again. Plus things are a bit more difficult and she is more "fragile" now then she was but we are doing it and so far everything is fine.

We had to get a new oxygen machine for Kourt before she was able to come home - our old one did not go up high enough for her new level required). Suddenly I hear this LOUD alarm so I jump out and grab my towel, I run into the living room where Dan already is. We just could not figure out where the sound was coming from. We thought it might be our fire alarm which is hooked up to the house alarm so we start messing with the buttons - but that only set off an alarm signal and then we had some lady speaking thru our alarm box asking if everything was ok. Dan finally figured out that it was the Oxygen and was able to just turn it off and then back on and it was ok (until it happened again later that day). I then had to reassure the alarm lady that it was just the oxygen machine and that everything was ok (and give her a code and reassure her again). We did get a new machine yesterday - even though we only had that problem twice and it was easily fix just by turning it off and then back on - I dont think that turning a machine off and back on is ever a good way to fix it.:)

Almost home!

So, Kourtney is still in the hospital but she is doing much better then she was last week, but not wonderful. The Docs have decided that tomorrow (maybe monday) is the day that she is coming home. Even though her "baseline" is not were it was before her stay (she breaths faster, requires much more oxygen, has more seizures, and is agitated more easily and takes longer to settle down) they feel that this is her new "baseline" and that there is not much more they can do for her here so she is getting to come home. This is her longest hospital stay (not counting the NICU of course) and even though I am saddened that she can not go further along in the healing process it will be nice to have her home.

My two older kids have been very patient and understanding of her need to be here and of my need to be with her. They have spent almost all of their time at my mom and dads house (one night at my brothers) and I am grateful that I have family so willing to help. I know that it is hard on them and that they miss our "normal" routine, and just being with me and their sister (and their dad - but his is always at work so not much can change from that stand point). I am very happy that soon we will get to return to our regular life and not have to spend everyday at the hospital. On the up side Dree and Jax love to take showers in the hospital room and they think it is fun to wear the masks and the Child Life Specialist are always so willing to bring then toys and drinks :)